I sure like talking, and typing, and connecting with people. I'm glad to have a place where I can ramble but I sometimes wonder if I should just journal and keep my thoughts to myself. I do have supportive people in my life who care, and I'm too lazy to set up a private journal and if I just journal in "pages" I'll do it once and forget about it. So here I am again to get some thoughts out.
Things I'm doing lately: Attempting to educate my children and manage them and occasionally having freak outs at the responsibility of it all. I've read some great stuff in the department that encourages a good perspective shift. Gordon Neufeld is one of my favorites right now, the need to connect with our children and maintain close relationships with them so they are grounded in the family and don't feel the need to turn to peers during crisis. My bro-in-law and sis-in-law in Oregon are so helpful as I stumble through this parenting thing. It's wonderful to have someone to vent to, ask for advice from, and just generally know that they are there loving us no matter what.
Peter broke my glasses last week and my last pair of contacts are giving me problems, so todays post is being cut short, everything is fuzzy. I didn't even get to the good stuff! Just know that God is so incredible and he's changing this heart of mine. Sometimes I ask Him to please slow down because I can't take it all in. I want my heart to be changed, I don't want to just collect cool info about Him. Know what I mean? I'm super excited to be His child, serve Him, love people, and grow into what He has for me.
Saturday, March 07, 2015
Saturday, October 11, 2014
Halloween Redo
Wow, can you believe that I'm actually here!? I sometimes have moments of blog inspiration, but obviously it hasn't made it from my head to the keys in a loooooonnnnng time!
The only thing I really wanted to talk about today was humility and change. We all change don't we? Well, hopefully we do. We learn, grow, and change. I think as Christians having a humble heart is hugely important.
Ok, so remember my Halloween post from years ago? Prime example of my husband and I learning, growing, and changing. Last year our Halloween looked very different from our previous stance on the subject. However, I still have no idea if we closer to being "right". I'll tell you what we did anyways.
The weather was unusually warm last year which opened up more options for us. Matthew and I had been praying about what to do the weeks leading up to the event. We weren't totally settled with hiding out. We explained to our children the origins of Halloween. We also reminded them of the first and greatest commandment. SOoooo, we set up a hot chocolate stand, bought some fun stickers (with bible verses on them, ha ha) and a bunch of candy. The worst part for me was thinking about the garbage, it makes me a little sick actually. We had just moved into a new house last year and it was wonderful to meet a bunch of our neighbours and give them treats. Our kids had so much fun playing outside and meeting people. They didn't ask to dress up (although they love dressing up throughout the year). They of course asked for candy.
Now it's that time of year again and K asked me yesterday. Mom, have you been praying about what to do for Halloween? Wow, I love that girl! What a great question. It's not about me trying to figure out whats best. Just be spirit led!
Other things I'd like to blog about:
Homeschooling in a small space. I've been googling it for ideas and these people are like "boo hoo, all 5 of us live in 1500 sq ft". I wouldn't be able to blog anything helpful in that area. So far our homeschool year has not felt organized at all. We keep going and somehow are getting somewhere.
Peter. Have I even blogged since he was born!? He's so amazing and I just can't imagine life without him. Now that we know him and love him how could we ever not want him. It makes me think about other potential children in our life and how could we possibly deny them life and deny the pleasure of us knowing them. And yet, my selfishness prevails and the timeline in my head seems better than what God would possibly give us. Ugghhh, so stupid.
The only thing I really wanted to talk about today was humility and change. We all change don't we? Well, hopefully we do. We learn, grow, and change. I think as Christians having a humble heart is hugely important.
Ok, so remember my Halloween post from years ago? Prime example of my husband and I learning, growing, and changing. Last year our Halloween looked very different from our previous stance on the subject. However, I still have no idea if we closer to being "right". I'll tell you what we did anyways.
The weather was unusually warm last year which opened up more options for us. Matthew and I had been praying about what to do the weeks leading up to the event. We weren't totally settled with hiding out. We explained to our children the origins of Halloween. We also reminded them of the first and greatest commandment. SOoooo, we set up a hot chocolate stand, bought some fun stickers (with bible verses on them, ha ha) and a bunch of candy. The worst part for me was thinking about the garbage, it makes me a little sick actually. We had just moved into a new house last year and it was wonderful to meet a bunch of our neighbours and give them treats. Our kids had so much fun playing outside and meeting people. They didn't ask to dress up (although they love dressing up throughout the year). They of course asked for candy.
Now it's that time of year again and K asked me yesterday. Mom, have you been praying about what to do for Halloween? Wow, I love that girl! What a great question. It's not about me trying to figure out whats best. Just be spirit led!
Other things I'd like to blog about:
Homeschooling in a small space. I've been googling it for ideas and these people are like "boo hoo, all 5 of us live in 1500 sq ft". I wouldn't be able to blog anything helpful in that area. So far our homeschool year has not felt organized at all. We keep going and somehow are getting somewhere.
Peter. Have I even blogged since he was born!? He's so amazing and I just can't imagine life without him. Now that we know him and love him how could we ever not want him. It makes me think about other potential children in our life and how could we possibly deny them life and deny the pleasure of us knowing them. And yet, my selfishness prevails and the timeline in my head seems better than what God would possibly give us. Ugghhh, so stupid.
Sunday, April 07, 2013
Why I'm Excited to Live in a Camper
Life in a camper, three small children, one pregnant belly, 3 months of hottish weather. Why the heck am I excited about that?!?
Well first let me explain. We are listing our house and wanting to build again. However we will have a bit of limbo time in there where we will be homeless. So the plan is to buy a holiday trailer and live in it.
I'm almost giddy about it and I've realized I could possibly be having high hopes and false expectations. I kind of see it as a Little House on the Prairie experience, but with a modern grocery store and hospital 20 minutes away. I just love the idea of a simple life. Not a lot of stuff, but a lot of outside play time. If the camper we get has a t.v. you can guarantee it will be taken out and the children won't even know about it. See?! Giddy!!!!!
We're hoping the house will be done by Sept, the baby is due the 18th! The house we're hoping to build will have a basement suite in it so we can rent it out. I'm looking forward to downsizing and moving ahead a little. There. Hows that for a little update?
We've updated our pink truck and now have a truck that can fit 6 children, whoohoo! We love our little old camper, but I just might lose my mind if we lived in all 18 feet of that for 3 months. This picture was from last summer. Fun times!
Well first let me explain. We are listing our house and wanting to build again. However we will have a bit of limbo time in there where we will be homeless. So the plan is to buy a holiday trailer and live in it.
I'm almost giddy about it and I've realized I could possibly be having high hopes and false expectations. I kind of see it as a Little House on the Prairie experience, but with a modern grocery store and hospital 20 minutes away. I just love the idea of a simple life. Not a lot of stuff, but a lot of outside play time. If the camper we get has a t.v. you can guarantee it will be taken out and the children won't even know about it. See?! Giddy!!!!!
We're hoping the house will be done by Sept, the baby is due the 18th! The house we're hoping to build will have a basement suite in it so we can rent it out. I'm looking forward to downsizing and moving ahead a little. There. Hows that for a little update?
We've updated our pink truck and now have a truck that can fit 6 children, whoohoo! We love our little old camper, but I just might lose my mind if we lived in all 18 feet of that for 3 months. This picture was from last summer. Fun times!
Sunday, March 17, 2013
14 Weeks
I know I'm absent. There is always so much to say, and I often blog in my head. I would love to make it here more often, it just doesn't happen. Life is busy. There is school, which I actually feel like I'm doing and loving our routine finally. We're getting ready to sell our house and build again. I've put immense pressure on myself to get this house perfect, and then realized my motives were wrong, repented, and have since fell into the same trap of lies, bbaaahh! Silly me.
I was 14 weeks exactly to the day when we lost Caleb. It was such a heart breaking shock. Now I have new life in me once again (yay!), and in 4 days I will be 14 weeks pregnant. Again. I hope. I have to admit that I'm just nervous and not trusting my body like I used to. Even after the 14 week point I'm just feeling hopeful in a way I didn't feel I needed to hope before. Does that make sense? I just took it for granted that my body would produce beautiful offspring. Every two years. Ha! Now my body failed me, my Caleb is not one month old, and my two year spacing between children is totally whacked (which is something else I should post about soon, giving up control of the pretty two year spacing, 3 or 4 child family)
While rushing through the grocery store today I walked past a cart with a tiny baby boy in it. About one month tiny, and SO cute. It felt like a gut punch, it was just such a fast glimpse as I walked by, and now that image remains with me. The image of what's missing in our lives. I don't think about him all the time, but there are those reminders once in awhile.
I could share more but must run! I'm totally cheating on a media fast by being here. I'm also working on a special project with a deadline right now, gotta jet!
I was 14 weeks exactly to the day when we lost Caleb. It was such a heart breaking shock. Now I have new life in me once again (yay!), and in 4 days I will be 14 weeks pregnant. Again. I hope. I have to admit that I'm just nervous and not trusting my body like I used to. Even after the 14 week point I'm just feeling hopeful in a way I didn't feel I needed to hope before. Does that make sense? I just took it for granted that my body would produce beautiful offspring. Every two years. Ha! Now my body failed me, my Caleb is not one month old, and my two year spacing between children is totally whacked (which is something else I should post about soon, giving up control of the pretty two year spacing, 3 or 4 child family)
While rushing through the grocery store today I walked past a cart with a tiny baby boy in it. About one month tiny, and SO cute. It felt like a gut punch, it was just such a fast glimpse as I walked by, and now that image remains with me. The image of what's missing in our lives. I don't think about him all the time, but there are those reminders once in awhile.
I could share more but must run! I'm totally cheating on a media fast by being here. I'm also working on a special project with a deadline right now, gotta jet!
Thursday, January 31, 2013
This Ache Persists
I sometimes "write" a blog post in my head. As you may have noticed they don't often make it from my head to here. I don't fully "get" blogging yet. Who the heck are we all writing for? When I blog there's no way I say everything I would if it was a private journal. Trust me I totally just deleted a couple sketchy, yet funny, sentences. The most entertaining blogs I've read have been strangers who I felt were being totally honest. Who knows, maybe they weren't. No one reads my blog anymore, so I really have to write for me. And yet those deleted sentences.... Oh bother.
Well here I am, but I just wanted to talk about a really sweet picture my daughter drew on the Magna-Doodle today. It's over there in my instagram shots. Its a family photo. Our whole family. She drew Caleb in a blanket in my arms. It really made me smile, how sweet and thoughtful of her. But once they were all tucked into bed and I looked at that picture that old familiar ache crept back up. My due date with Caleb approaches. How I wish that this house was getting ready for his arrival. How I wish for achy hips and back. How I crave those kicks and wiggles from within. Sometimes the sadness just hits. Tonight is one of those times.
I do have to say I've learned a ton though this experience. I've also been thankful for some pretty amazing friends. Sometimes people are just awesome aren't they? I am blessed. My times with God lately have been especially sweet. Oh it's just so friggin amazing to see him change this wretched heart of mine! Words just can't explain what it's like to really experience the love and grace of Christ and my precious Father.
Well I feel encouraged and lifted, and now I have this post to look back on and take me back to this time in my life. I guess that's part of what blogging is about for me.
Well here I am, but I just wanted to talk about a really sweet picture my daughter drew on the Magna-Doodle today. It's over there in my instagram shots. Its a family photo. Our whole family. She drew Caleb in a blanket in my arms. It really made me smile, how sweet and thoughtful of her. But once they were all tucked into bed and I looked at that picture that old familiar ache crept back up. My due date with Caleb approaches. How I wish that this house was getting ready for his arrival. How I wish for achy hips and back. How I crave those kicks and wiggles from within. Sometimes the sadness just hits. Tonight is one of those times.
I do have to say I've learned a ton though this experience. I've also been thankful for some pretty amazing friends. Sometimes people are just awesome aren't they? I am blessed. My times with God lately have been especially sweet. Oh it's just so friggin amazing to see him change this wretched heart of mine! Words just can't explain what it's like to really experience the love and grace of Christ and my precious Father.
Well I feel encouraged and lifted, and now I have this post to look back on and take me back to this time in my life. I guess that's part of what blogging is about for me.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
My Thoughts on Halloween
We used to do halloween. The first couple years of Katelyn's life we dressed her up and went to a few houses for candy. Things have changed and we no longer "do" halloween. Here's why:
We are Christians.
All the candy is bad for our health.
All the candy has wasteful wrappers on it, remember one of my favorite blogs? Zero Waste Home
I don't like the scary costumes and my kids get scared when they answer the door to hand out candy.
Ok, so now I'm going to expand on the first one because in my mind it's the one that matters the most. Please realize that this is my conviction and I'm not judging other people, nor am I saying you should all change because of what I say here! As a Christian my family and I are are set apart, different from the world (1 Pete 2:11&12). Our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against evil spiritual forces (Eph 6:12). Do you know where Halloween comes from?
It's interesting to look into, and a few different things come up. It's origins are pagan, and yes so are the origins of Christmas. But Christmas celebrates Christs birth, and Halloween celebrates death and evil. Yes originally it had a lot to do with the harvest, but it was also believed that the souls of the dead would visit on this night. It falls right before All Saints Day which is no coincidence. Catholics believed that when people died they basically waited around and got a chance to go to heaven on All Saints Day. So the night before was their last chance to get revenge, and haunt. I've also heard that since Reformation the persecuted Christians dressed up and bribed their attackers.
Satan takes what God has created and twists it, he makes counterfeits. He's a fake and a lie. I'll use the example of lust. Satan took sex, a beautiful gift from God, and he perverted it, turned it into all kinds of pitfalls for man. I believe that as Christians we need to be extra vigilant so we don't fall into his schemes. Pretending we can just take the "innocent" parts of Halloween and leaving the rest is a cop out.
I choose not to compromise and just take the fun bits of Halloween. My kids dress up all year, and we get treats often enough. I do struggle because we are called to love our neighbours, and handing out candy is very loving. To that I say that we must be loving all year round. Look out for our neighbours, know them, know their needs. Pray for them! Get involved with them, get to know them.
I also don't want to be holed away in a dark basement watching T.V. feeling the need to hide. My dream would be to have a powerful worship service on that night. Again, our battle is not between flesh and blood. Can you picture the spiritual battle on Halloween night around a place of worship? I would much prefer to kill demons and ruin satans plans than just be complacent and eat candy with a couple cute kids. The world lies to us, Satan lies to us. (1 Jn 5:19) He wants us to not care, or to not think about it too much. I'm getting worked up, YES!
1 Peter 2:11 (in case you didn't look it up when I put it up there at the top)
"Beloved, I urge you as aliens and stranger to abstain from fleshly lusts, which wage war against the soul."
And in the Message translation 11&12: Friends, this world is not your home, so don’t make yourselves cozy in it. Don’t indulge your ego at the expense of your soul. Live an exemplary life among the natives so that your actions will refute their prejudices. Then they’ll be won over to God’s side and be there to join in the celebration when he arrives.
We are Christians.
All the candy is bad for our health.
All the candy has wasteful wrappers on it, remember one of my favorite blogs? Zero Waste Home
I don't like the scary costumes and my kids get scared when they answer the door to hand out candy.
Ok, so now I'm going to expand on the first one because in my mind it's the one that matters the most. Please realize that this is my conviction and I'm not judging other people, nor am I saying you should all change because of what I say here! As a Christian my family and I are are set apart, different from the world (1 Pete 2:11&12). Our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against evil spiritual forces (Eph 6:12). Do you know where Halloween comes from?
It's interesting to look into, and a few different things come up. It's origins are pagan, and yes so are the origins of Christmas. But Christmas celebrates Christs birth, and Halloween celebrates death and evil. Yes originally it had a lot to do with the harvest, but it was also believed that the souls of the dead would visit on this night. It falls right before All Saints Day which is no coincidence. Catholics believed that when people died they basically waited around and got a chance to go to heaven on All Saints Day. So the night before was their last chance to get revenge, and haunt. I've also heard that since Reformation the persecuted Christians dressed up and bribed their attackers.
Satan takes what God has created and twists it, he makes counterfeits. He's a fake and a lie. I'll use the example of lust. Satan took sex, a beautiful gift from God, and he perverted it, turned it into all kinds of pitfalls for man. I believe that as Christians we need to be extra vigilant so we don't fall into his schemes. Pretending we can just take the "innocent" parts of Halloween and leaving the rest is a cop out.
I choose not to compromise and just take the fun bits of Halloween. My kids dress up all year, and we get treats often enough. I do struggle because we are called to love our neighbours, and handing out candy is very loving. To that I say that we must be loving all year round. Look out for our neighbours, know them, know their needs. Pray for them! Get involved with them, get to know them.
I also don't want to be holed away in a dark basement watching T.V. feeling the need to hide. My dream would be to have a powerful worship service on that night. Again, our battle is not between flesh and blood. Can you picture the spiritual battle on Halloween night around a place of worship? I would much prefer to kill demons and ruin satans plans than just be complacent and eat candy with a couple cute kids. The world lies to us, Satan lies to us. (1 Jn 5:19) He wants us to not care, or to not think about it too much. I'm getting worked up, YES!
1 Peter 2:11 (in case you didn't look it up when I put it up there at the top)
"Beloved, I urge you as aliens and stranger to abstain from fleshly lusts, which wage war against the soul."
And in the Message translation 11&12: Friends, this world is not your home, so don’t make yourselves cozy in it. Don’t indulge your ego at the expense of your soul. Live an exemplary life among the natives so that your actions will refute their prejudices. Then they’ll be won over to God’s side and be there to join in the celebration when he arrives.
Friday, October 19, 2012
Sad Things Today
Depressing title I know. Here's my list of sad things:
- We are organizing the garage because it's supposed to snow, and it's just the beginning of a long cold winter:-( (Thankful I can park in the garage though!)
- While organizing the garage the infant car seat was pushed to the back of the shelf, won't be needing that.
- I've been reading the Little House on the Prairie Books, which makes me feel lazy and in-adequate. Laura was 15 and she wouldn't have to spell check "in-adequate", she was amazing! Not to mention "Ma" and all she did in a day. I know it's totally silly of me to compare, but still. It's just how I'm feeling.
- Micah is offically just huge and not a baby anymore. This fact didn't bother me before when I was waiting for another baby. Now it's painfully obvious that this house is without a baby for the first time in more than 6 years.
Ok, I'm done being sad. My house smells amazing from supper cooking, and my family is snug and happy under this roof. I can trust my Heavenly Father and rest in His mighty love.
This post is weird and I don't really like it, I'll still post it though. Thanks for listening.
- We are organizing the garage because it's supposed to snow, and it's just the beginning of a long cold winter:-( (Thankful I can park in the garage though!)
- While organizing the garage the infant car seat was pushed to the back of the shelf, won't be needing that.
- I've been reading the Little House on the Prairie Books, which makes me feel lazy and in-adequate. Laura was 15 and she wouldn't have to spell check "in-adequate", she was amazing! Not to mention "Ma" and all she did in a day. I know it's totally silly of me to compare, but still. It's just how I'm feeling.
- Micah is offically just huge and not a baby anymore. This fact didn't bother me before when I was waiting for another baby. Now it's painfully obvious that this house is without a baby for the first time in more than 6 years.
Ok, I'm done being sad. My house smells amazing from supper cooking, and my family is snug and happy under this roof. I can trust my Heavenly Father and rest in His mighty love.
This post is weird and I don't really like it, I'll still post it though. Thanks for listening.
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