This Ache Persists

I sometimes "write" a blog post in my head. As you may have noticed they don't often make it from my head to here. I don't fully "get" blogging yet. Who the heck are we all writing for? When I blog there's no way I say everything I would if it was a private journal. Trust me I totally just deleted a couple sketchy, yet funny, sentences. The most entertaining blogs I've read have been strangers who I felt were being totally honest. Who knows, maybe they weren't. No one reads my blog anymore, so I really have to write for me. And yet those deleted sentences.... Oh bother.

Well here I am, but I just wanted to talk about a really sweet picture my daughter drew on the Magna-Doodle today. It's over there in my instagram shots. Its a family photo. Our whole family. She drew Caleb in a blanket in my arms. It really made me smile, how sweet and thoughtful of her. But once they were all tucked into bed and I looked at that picture that old familiar ache crept back up. My due date with Caleb approaches. How I wish that this house was getting ready for his arrival. How I wish for achy hips and back. How I crave those kicks and wiggles from within. Sometimes the sadness just hits. Tonight is one of those times.

I do have to say I've learned a ton though this experience. I've also been thankful for some pretty amazing friends. Sometimes people are just awesome aren't they? I am blessed. My times with God lately have been especially sweet. Oh it's just so friggin amazing to see him change this wretched heart of mine! Words just can't explain what it's like to really experience the love and grace of Christ and my precious Father.

Well I feel encouraged and lifted, and now I have this post to look back on and take me back to this time in my life. I guess that's part of what blogging is about for me.